The Linguist

@Linguist_CIOL DECEMBER/JANUARY The Linguist 23 it) with Jack Hamann's sharp, rhythmical original: "Baby books bore me, and Alice can tell. Too stilted. Too bland. Too predictable. By contrast, Shel Silverstein's poems surprise and amuse. Sly storylines duck down unexpected alleys. Clever phrases squeal and sing. Cuddled in my lap, Alice senses enthusiasm, hears delight. 'Sidewalk' enthrals Alice because Silverstein enthrals me." In sum, we have several individual techniques at our disposal, but we obtain the best effect when we put them together. It's always useful to discuss concrete examples, and I hope this list provides food for thought. As an exercise, why not re-edit those phrases and sentences yourself to enhance their rhythmical effect and the soundscape they create? Then nourish your mind with some well-chosen reading. Treat yourself to some masterly examples of fine writing that have gone down in history, like the one I conclude with here: the resounding 'I Have a Dream' speech by the Reverend Martin Luther King, which certainly needs no editing or commentary from me: "When we allow freedom to ring – when we let it ring from every city and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, 'Free at last, Free at last, Great God a-mighty, We are free at last.'" your 5-metre tender with ease.' We gain a less tedious synonym for the un-innovative 'innovative' and conclude the whole thing on an emphatic stress that exudes the very feeling the marketer is trying to create. But the key was breaking the sentence with a bang. The Grand Hotel is the habitat for the countless stories of the thousands of guests passing through its doors. Here we have a breath of alliteration, with 'habitat' echoing 'Hotel', but is 'habitat' the right collocation for 'stories'? Wouldn't it be more natural to say that stories play out on a stage, especially as the establishment is bigging itself up as a great setting for beautiful people to be seen in? So let's rephrase: 'The Grand Hotel is the stage for the countless stories of the thousands of guests who pass through its doors." This eases the rhythm by replacing two adjacent stresses 'guests pass-' with the more flowing 'guests who pass'. But perhaps more importantly, it provides a new matching pair of sounds (stage/stories) to exploit the effect of alliteration. Every Zugatti supercar is the outcome of the cutting-edge R&D, technology and construction for maximum stylistic effect and a quality, highly functional, extremely efficient, beautifully engineered result. This is another one that would benefit from a break, not least to improve the rhythm of the concluding list. When there are more than three elements, it can all become a bit of a litany, so let's reorder the four as two pairs: 'Each Zugatti supercar is the fruit of elite R&D, cutting-edge technology and masterly construction skill. And the results are there for all to see, in the superb quality and excellent amenity, the optimum efficiency and supreme stylistic effect, all engineered with total precision.' My advice: split that list. I find books that have been written for small children somewhat tedious, and Alice tends to pick up on this fact. Some of them are bland, predictable or stilted, among other defects. The amusing poetry of Shel Silverstein, however, surprises. Offbeat plots take turns that can only be described as unexpected. Intelligent wording bursts with personality and sonorous quality. Cuddled in my lap, Alice senses the enthusiasm in my voice and senses delight as she listens. 'Sidewalk' enthrals Alice because Silverstein enthrals me. I'll leave you to contrast this paragraph (and all the mistakes I poked into FEATURES © SHUTTERSTOCK

• Cover