The Linguist

The Linguist 59,6 - December-January 2021

The Linguist is a languages magazine for professional linguists, translators, interpreters, language professionals, language teachers, trainers, students and academics with articles on translation, interpreting, business, government, technology

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22 The Linguist Vol/59 No/6 2020 thelinguist.uberflip.com FEATURES With a series of thought-provoking examples, Oliver Lawrence offers his tips on how to write musically in order to engage an audience "I've noticed I'm more engaged when an author chooses words that – if spoken – are pleasing to hear." "While most readers won't be able to define the elements of good rhythm, they'll notice if the words just don't sing." "When you listen to a speaker, you hear words, to be sure, but you also hear tones… Gather your sentences by ear, and reimagine them in your writing… If you think deep enough, you think musically." Musical writing is more engaging, more appealing, more memorable writing. Authors Jack Hamann and Suzannah Windsor Freeman point out as much above, before the poet Robert Frost notes how we might start to make it happen. As linguists – as writing professionals – it's our job to tune in to these elements and orchestrate them to elegant effect. I set the scene for what 'sound' writing entails at the CIOL Conference earlier this year – about strings of stresses, sentence length patterns and individual sounds that echo the meaning they impart. This article is the next step: a discussion of ten real examples of how we can achieve this in practice. Walk this way, then, for some musical editing. Started to campaign. Taken out of context, this short phrase looks perfectly reasonable on the surface. But we can improve it. What about 'Began to campaign'? It might seem a trivial change, but listen: the final 'n's alliterate, and the syllable rhythm feels more agreeable, as we avoid the three 't's in stuttering succession. My conclusion? It's better to cut the stutter. Where does the punchline go in a joke? This also seems quite nice, and it even offers a spot of assonance with the repeated /ō/ in 'go' and 'joke'. But what if we turn the sentence around? With 'When you tell a joke, where's the punchline?', the key element hits home because it's placed at the end. And it's arguably more natural to put theme before rheme. The moral? Finish with impact. She appeared poised in an inimitable silhouette. Go through that again and listen carefully to how it all sounds. Did you trip over that 'in an inim-' sequence? Me too. Instead, how about 'She appeared in a silhouette of consummate poise'? As you can hear, it pays to read it out loud. Kerbrapp 666: an exciting, decidedly contemporary incarnation of freedom. So begins a puff piece about a (fictional) high- end speedboat. But does the expression 'decidedly contemporary' feel a bit ponderous next to 'exciting' – and not exactly exciting either? Edit it to 'Kerbrapp 666: freedom incarnate, in stirring contemporary style' and both the flow and the meaning are working harder to provide some vital pulse-quickening oomph. That's the benefit of binning the bulk. Power and performance. The unmistakable thrill of our soul. The phrasing is a little odd here, and that's probably because it was written by a non-native speaker. But the worst problem comes out in the sound: say An ear for editing the last two words aloud (with the stress on 'our', pronounced as a monophthong) and the horrific homophonic cacophony emerges. 'The unmistakable kick that thrills the soul' is a step forward at least. In short, we should listen out for double entendres. Having suppliers that were forthcoming was a really important part of the project: taking part in meetings on more than one occasion, putting forward solutions, monitoring progress, etc. One way to firm up this limp-sounding effort is to use the dramatic pause of the colon for more emphatic effect: 'The engagement of our suppliers was vital: they contributed to meetings, proposed solutions and helped us monitor progress.' This revision also slims down the overlong first element in the list of three. (Lists generally sound better when the first element is shorter.) The lesson? Attune to the flow. At the Kerbrapp 777 stern is the submersible hatch, the innovative and highly appreciated system used to move the garage door and swimming platform, offering guests all the comfort of a spacious beach club and allowing the crew to easily manage a tender measuring up to 5 metres long. Bloated and flaccid? Let's give it some pep by snipping it up to draw attention to the key point: 'The Kerbrapp 777 vaunts a much-lauded feature at the stern: the submersible hatch. This ingenious system opens the garage door out to form a swim platform with all the comfort of a spacious beach club while the crew handle

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