28 The Linguist Vol/56 No/2 2017
www.ciol.org.uk
OPINION & COMMENT
Reflections on love across cultures, inspired by Lauren
Collins' book about her relationship with a Swiss man
MADELEINE KILMINSTER
the attraction of dating a speaker of a foreign
language is that they are endlessly interesting.
Getting to know them is one and the same as
learning about the entirely other world they
come from: their unfamiliar idioms, quirky
customs and refreshing views. You crave
insatiably to learn their language to be closer
to them and to learn how they think. You lap
up new words and phrases which stick with
you because they are enshrined within the
heightened emotions you experienced when
you discovered them. they find your accent
adorable. You, too, find it delectable to hear
them imbue english words with exotic flair.
Love in a foreign language came for me at
perhaps one of the most concentrated periods
of self-exploration and development that one
goes through: my undergraduate year abroad.
I fell in love with a German man who was the
only other young person on the staff at the
school where I worked as an english language
assistant. the language differences were at
first part of the job: I led lessons in english,
he stepped in to translate into German.
As our relationship developed, initially I did
not feel that our different native tongues were
an overt barrier to communication. confident
in english, he glued together the fractures in
my nascent German and I supplemented his
textbook terms with colloquialisms. ostensibly,
we were able to convey what was necessary
and, with time, to articulate more intimate
insecurities, fears and dreams. We began to
correct each other less and less; intuiting
each other's speech patterns and what they
were trying to say. As in any relationship, we
developed a common language of in-jokes
and shared experiences unique to us.
It was not until I read Lauren collins'
excellent When in French that thoughts
about my relationship between cultures truly
crystallised. reflecting on the linguistic and
cultural bonds between all human beings,
collins (a North carolinian) weaves in the tale
of her evolving romance with a Swiss-French
man and the intricacies, anxieties and thrills
of navigating love in a second language.
Among the challenges she experiences
from a lack of shared language – slow
adjustment to Swiss lifestyle and customs,
feeling ostracised from her in-laws – collins
describes underlying difficulties in connecting
with her husband. Despite falling in love
Love in translation
Casting a shadow
over my relationship
was a hovering
highlighter critiquing
everything I said
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